It's bothering me!

        Ok something has really been on my mind for the past few days.... so here it goes. someone the other day posted on Facebook that... "If your money is not right, then your heart is not right." I've been chewing on this for a few days & so here is my conclusion... It's easy to have faith when things are going right. But what about when things are going wrong... How is our faith then? You could have money continually coming in, but if things ain't workin' then it ain't workin', no matter how much money is in the bank. Our faith can be shaken whither rich or poor.

      I heard a message that a preacher said a few weeks ago at church, he stated that their are three seasons of life... season one.. Flying, everything is going good, smooth like nothing is going wrong everything is going right, things are falling into place all of the time, and on and on.. season two.. running... A few bumps come in the road, but hey, you can defeat them cause you have confidence & can easily over take them no problem, but after awhile the bumps just keep on coming, which leads to season three... Walking.. the scripture says "Even though I  walk through the valley of  the shadow of death, I will  fear no evil, for  you are with me; your  rod and your staff, they comfort me. (Psalms 23:4 ESV) By then you are alone, even when you are surrounded by people you are alone & have no one else to trust except foe God alone & at times he feels so far away...

     What I have learned a few things through this walking process. One is to look up! keep your sights up above & at times... Yes, you will have to talk to yourself to encourage yourself in the Lord, but sometimes that is what you have to do & by this time their are no little phoney fake prayers... these are will be prayers when your driving in your truck with tears in your eyes begging God, to get you out of the mess that your in right now with the phone ringging every two miniutes because someone needs money! But the other thing that I learned is contentment... That's huge for a lot of people... Being content, by this time you don't care about fashion, clothes, what your driving, on & on.. your concern by this time is.... Is she coming home? I don't care about nothing else.. But is she coming home with our daughter? Will the power & water still be on when I get home, to wash the clothes that I have, to cook the meal that has been planned, to take a hot shower after a long brutal day of physical  & mental abuse (that i would be so hard on myself because we didn't make alot of money & that I should of went to college, because, my family would be doing so much better now!) We as belivers need to be careful especially when we are soaring... people normally ask sucessful people.. " tell me about your sucess whats it like?" When it should be "tell me abiut your struggle because it will help me through mine!"

My Sister Samantha!

I remember when my sister was born it was on October 10th 1987! & what a day that was, but lets start from the beginning before she was born, we will just roll with the 12 months... I remember my mom was pregnant, I think for about a month or two before my mother miscarried & I remember my father at the time came into my room & told me the news about the miscarriage & on how mom will need some space for a few days to heal up, & the family on on both sides were pretty sad.  I didn't quiet understand at the time why something like that would happen but because I was only in the seventh grade I was like well whatever not my problem.. & moved on & went fishing! Then April of 1987 mom & dad announced that they were pregnant again but they learned from the first time not to really tell the family for at least a month into the pregnancy because of the last experience with the consistent hounding from both sides of the family. So the announcement came & I was going to become a big brother to this little person that I had no idea who or what they were going to be, or on how this would effect my life as an only child I had some serious mixed reviews.. But anyway, Mom & dad revealed your name they had a name for a boy which I don't remember but when the name for a girl came about it was just nuts.. Grandpa Veins had a melt down cause he thought that every child now born should be named after who is ever in the bible, & grandpa Nolan thought that it was a witches name.. But our dad held strong & didn't back down from either.. Then you were born early in the morning & our dad that can be that total jackass told the doctors & nurses not to reveal who you were for about 2hrs cause he wanted to to be with mom for that time.. Cause the era that I was born fathers were not allowed to help with the birthing whatsoever, & I'm sure that dad wanted to just be in that soaking moment.. & I can relate when I was with Audrie for the first few seconds of her life & for me to give her her first bath.. Such an amazing moment that is burned in my memory forever.  And who knew because of you, I was in boot camp for my own daughter! But anyway, I became a big brother...  Skipping some stuff to now.. So here it is 2010 you moved in with us after your departure from another company & you wanted to get your life started out side of Yelm.. So Aimee & I were like let her move in! That way she can get things going & slowly go from our place to out their somewhere.. & what a timely time that was, because when I got diagnosed with the tumor, stuff hit the fan! & you really helped us a lot by being our live in nanny! Taking care of Audrie & taking care of our house to even cutting the grass! & you carried some of the weight when Aimee & I had to go to all sorts of clinics, but during this time I felt that our relationship went from brother sister to father daughter relationship.. Because when you got a boyfriend, my heart stopped because by this time I knew that you couldn't be little forever, kinda on how I would like for Audrie to take "stop in time pills" cause I really don't want her to grow up either.. But I know that their will be a day coming when she will be gone, as well with her own family her own life, but to me, she will always be my little girl. & I have to do the same for you. Watching you grow for 25 years has been amazing.. My favorite thing about you is your funny, quirky, strong personality. But yet, your secret compassion for people! All mixed together like a Heinz 57 sauce.. You turned out very beautiful & talented.  I see a queen in you! A queen that has beauty & talent. A queen that is in many ways becoming more & more a well rounded individual! What's interesting, because of our years apart,  I have became a better father because of you! Being able to understand my own daughter & how to guide her through this road of life. I love you Samantha & you are the best sister that a brother could have! Happy 25th birthday!

  Love,
 Your big Brother!

10 years!

Can you believe that it's been ten years that we have been married! I still remember the day when I first met you & the clothes that you wore & the first lunch date that we had when you were not feeling well, but, the most important thing to me was that you said YES to marry me, even though I'm sure that you went through the fire quietly with people telling you not to to it, probably because I was not top caliber type of material, but because of you I became a better man! It's amazing to me on how God so blessed me much more than what I deserve, I think about it often on truly a blessed man that I am to have a great & wonderful wife that truly understands me. Looking back on the past ten years we have grown a lot together. From the first year of marriage when we both went back to school, but, I dropped out cause I was working so many hours but I made sure that you got your education on getting your masters cause it was your dream to becoming a teacher, then we bought our first house & started our painting business with the encouragement of others but when I told them no on some stuff we were kicked to the curb so we were pretty much learning on our own which was another learning curve, but our business grew for a few years & we both worked hard to make it happen, then we had Audrie, our wonderful daughter, you really encouraged me that I was going to be a good dad when it came to raising her,then we delt with your Caesarian being infected & had to heal itself on the way out & when pastor Joel came ofer to our place & it smelled like dog poop cause Rudy was marking everything, then things calmed down for awhile, then the economy showed up & thats when our feet were really to the fire & it seems like the fire has been hanging out a little to long, but then within the year of 2011/2012 is when the flood came. We had no money, employees were taking whatever they could from us you were working three jobs & I was working part time & running the business full time & it was money was coming in & going out fast, but the bell ringer for the both is when we found out about my pituitary tumor & we couldn't have any more kids cause it caused me to no longer create any testosterone, but plenty of prolactin which I will understand you greatly when you hit menopause cause I had the same symptoms, but through all of this you never really freaked out, well on the outside you showed that you weren't freaking out but probably was! But anyway looking back at all of this & I'm sure that I am missing some stuff, you never left, I'm sure that you had your doubts but you never left & because of you Aimee Nolan I'm a very successful man & truly a blessed man! I'm glad that Jesus saved my life & blessed me with you, you make my life richer & full of excitement & ready for some more, Happy Anneversary Hun & looking forward to many more years. Love your husband!