It has been quite the trial some time for us in the Nolan household, but things are starting to calm down, I feel that I am coming back to normal with the inside of my body with this prolactin tumor, I feel that the meds are working thank God cause I couldn’t go on another day with man moody pms thing any longer. I have to tell you this whole no testosterone thing can really mess a man up! You start thinking thoughts that you would of never dreamed of thinking or some actions that you do, that you yourself know that is not normal. But, we are wining! I was thinking the other day about all of this situation of family, tumor & money and just wondering on when the ride is going to end, I would feel totally alone in some cases, I would even wonder if God was even beside me at times cause I couldn’t feel him near me at all, secretly discourage from all of this stuff going on. I would tell my wife when I would wake up some days & tell her I can’t wait to go back to bed so that I can quit thinking about it, or the tears that I would cry in secret in my truck gong from one job to the next because my heart was heavy from bad news for weeks, and it seemed like their was no end & also wondering if this was my lot in life of being a poor hardworking person that knows how to hook up and to produce and to make it happen. But you know for any man they will hit a wall, I guess that you could say a clarity for some or a midlife crisis for others where they are to young to be labeled as old or to old to be labeled as young, a cross road of life to the point to where men crack cause some has worked so hard to achieve and at times they don’t achieve it and they become tired and weary of this consistent fight of business, or life or whatever they are facing, but all I can really say is look up! Look up and make up your mind, that’s what I have been having to do, is to encourage myself (and lets not forget about my wife by my side either) because that is all what you can do, find things that encourage you, for me I would tell myself that it’s almost over, or we will win, or how can I be a minister to someone if I myself haven’t been through it, ect, ect, ect. That is what King David had to do, the same thing that the prodigal Son had to do when he was in the pen with the pigs eating what they ate (gross) but they both made up their minds to move forward and to beat whatever needs to be beaten, so I tell you look Up, make up your mind and move forward! Because you will win! And with my wife & I we will be able to look back on this & laugh and to say look what the LORD has done! He brought us through, even though we couldn’t feel him at times, he was always by our side!
